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To sea the see by Tré Taylor I didn't know I was surfing. There have been times that I was standing up leaning just right and riding that edge of the powerful wave below me and then just as I entered the tube, I went flying off into the crashing surf and was pushed way down beneath the surface. Hopefully I took a big breath of air before I would go down, but not always. I would try to relax to find which way was up, and the light always showed me the way. Sometimes I would get tired, cold and numb out there after awhile, waiting for the right wave, my timing was off, I was off or the waves were just not happening for me. I would rest and float on the calm waves sometimes to feel the wind and the sun on my face and get my strength back and go for it again. I went over and over, but rarely rode a good long wave. Over the years it wasn't as easy to get up on that board. Then one day I found my wave and rode it smooth fast and clean until at the last second I was taken way down under. This time I couldn't find the light and I sank down into the dark. I sank deeper and it got colder and colder and I lost consciousness so I thought. No board, no waves, only silence and blackness all around me. I was so afraid and lost and alone. I was alive, but wasn't living. I felt my feet hit the bottom I could not see my hands in front of my face. I cried out into the blackness for help, but nothing and no one heard my cries. I couldn't feel my body anymore but I felt my tears of grief, all the rage and anger, I felt the loss of my own life. I stopped fighting and let myself stay in the darkness for a long time. I learned something they don't tell you, those who experience this. After a long while in the darkness, it just becomes plain old predictable dark. You are no longer afraid or lost. Your lungs adjust to your new found way of breathing. You become safe in the darkness. What once was your deepest unconscious fear - the great unknown, becomes your trusted loyal friend. When this happens your eyes change and you begin to see into the darkness. A compassion for all life and death consume you as you cry the tears of a billion lifetimes and as your new eyes cry these new warm tears of self forgiveness and clarity, you begin to walk in the dark watery abyss. You don't float or swim from this place, you walk out, one step at a time. The rocks and sand show you your way, and only your way out. As your head rises up out of the sea it is hard to adjust to the light and air again. When you do begin to see and feel your limbs again, you notice that the sea was created by all of the salty tears ever cried alone in darkness. This sea is a cleansing and purification of all things. Your body is lighter then before. You imagine what surfing on top of the waves will feel like now that you know what lies beneath. You are changed and the light feels warmer and clearer. You have a new sense of the cycles of life and death and the sea and yourself which now are one in the same. You now can spot others that have the same eyes as you have, and they notice you. There really aren't words to describe the connection in the sort of wink they give you. You see the sea in them - powerful fearless and free.
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