I woke up this morning with a really stiff neck and my leg is all weird too, why?

This brings up a serious issue I would like to address, and that is “SLEEPING INJURY.”  How do people avoid sleeping injuries? 

These are some helpful safety tips:

· Do not fall down on the bed stinking drunk.

· Make sure your bottom sheet is properly fastened to the mattress so you won’t try to fix it with your feet if you are to lazy to get up and fix it.

· Do not sleep with an angry person.

· Do not sleep with a very obese person in a single bed.

· Try not to sleep with live animals.

· Do not operate electrical equipment on a waterbed.

· Do not bring an arch welder or blowtorch to bed.

· Avoid sleeping in a “Fecal” position all night.

· After having sexual intercourse, remember to “dismount” before falling to sleep.

· Avoid sleeping with your arms lying straight above your head, (this causes the “dead arm” syndrome, not good.)

· Do not wear a cape or heavy mask to bed if possible.

· Avoid the use sleeping with loaded firearms.

· Do not eat Veal before going to bed.

· Do not eat a jar of molasses off of another persons naked body before going to bed.