The
Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2005 winners:
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of
time.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.